Morning in the Life of a Cat Wrangler


Annabel (left) and Shay (right). Who’s house is this anyway? Apparently, not mine.


Saturday morning, 7:00 a.m.

SHAY: Meow, meow meow! I’m hungry!

ME: [Asleep.]

ANNABEL: That’s not gonna get her up.


7:15 a.m.

SHAY: Meow, meow, meow! Still hungry! Meow, meow, more meow!!!

ME: [Asleep.]

ANNABEL: I’m telling you, that’s not gonna work.


7:25 a.m.


ME: [Asleep.]

ANNABEL: Must I do everything? [Annabel walks over to my side of the bed.] BLERGH! [AnnabelĀ vomits all over floor, right where I put my bare feet when I get up.]

ME: What? What? What? [Looks down at mess.] Annabel, did you get sick again? Ugh. Guess I better clean this up.


7:30 a.m.

ME: [Cleans up vomit.]

[Two pairs of cat eyes look at me expectantly.]

ME: I guess you want breakfast now? All right, I’m getting up. [Grabs food bowl, heads to kitchen.]

ANNABEL: [Looks at Shay.] Now that’s how a professional does it.

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