The Demon Within: A Small Snippet

Now that were inching closer and closer to the release date, I thought it was about time I started posting some (non-spoilery) snippets.

One of the biggest things that I’m still working on is the middle section. I hate, hate middles with a passion. I’m good at beginnings and endings, but I often get lost somewhere in the middle, and the story starts to meander with no urgency. This is something I’ve been working on with my editor, and I believe the middle is in better shape than when I started. But I’m still working.

Here’s a little snippet of something I worked on tonight. Caveats: it’s unedited, so it may not look exactly as it looks now in the final version of the book. (Honestly, there’s a chance it might not make it to the book, so I can’t discount that, either.) If it’s got typos, misspellings, grammatical errors, etc., it’s all on me. Like I said: this is not the final version. But I’m kind of proud of it, so I wanted to share.

Okay, here’s what you need to know. Dale (our heroine) and John (our…something, heh) are at an amusement park. It’s nighttime, and the park is closed. The brackets indicate where I edited spoilery bits out. And that…I think is all I’m going to tell you right now 😛

The metal fence around the carousel was taller than I was, tapering to sharp points on the top, and the slats didn’t provide much in the way of footholds. I struggled to climb over, the sound of John chasing me getting closer and closer all the time. Finally, I made it over, and I ran across the carousel to the other side of the fence. This time around I knew what to do, and I made it more easily—though the sharp points did catch the fabric of my shirt and tear a hole into it. I ignored it and jumped to the ground.

About five seconds after I jumped the fence I heard it rattle behind me as John arrived at the carousel. Damn. How was he so close? […] “I’m impressed, Little Demon,” I heard him call. “You used the geography around you to your advantage. But it’s not enough. Not when I’m your opponent.”

I couldn’t help it. I turned around and looked at him. John had backed up until he was about 50 feet away from the fence. Then, he sprinted back toward the carousel. When he got near the fence line, he leapt into the air, sailing easily over the pointy spikes and landing in a crouch. For a second, all I could do was stare. “Holy shit.”

He rose and gave me a cocky grin.

I ran.

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